Vampire Seasons BOOK II
by The Resident Vampyr
Summary: HER. How Spike get to stay with Xander. A pre/post HIM fiction.
1. Default Chapter

Title: **LESSONTH THE FIRST**  
Synopsis: Buffy plans to visit Spike at his new "home". A post-"Lessons" episode fanfic.  
Rating: PG  
Date Written: Friday, 27 September, 2002  
Author: The Resident Vampyr © 2001-2002.  
Credits: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the property of Joss Whedon and the powers that be. Partial script from "Lessons".  
Characters: Buffy Dawn Xander Spike  
  
  


***  
Buffy was excited to tell Dawn about the news of her getting a job at Sunnydale High courtesy of the new principal, Mr. Robin Wood. He was a bit odd, that Mr.what's-his-name, thought Buffy.   
  
He seemed to know a lot of things about her and her stint at the old high school. He even conversed with her quite heavily about Sunnydale High's history.   
  
Creepy, thought Buffy, and suspicious. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that Principal Wood has something to do with the summoning of the three evil dead that stalked her and Dawn. Or maybe not.  
  
"We're home," Dawn said cheerfully, as she opened the door, Xander trailing not far behind.  
  
"Dawn, guess what?" Buffy prepared to make the announcement.  
  
Dawn dropped everything and listened to her sister. Xander stood by and smiled with anticipation since Buffy already told him about the good news earlier at the school.  
  
"I got a job at your school!" Buffy exclaimed and explained how she got the job. "Don't you love it? I get to earn legitimate money and get to watch over you!" she smiled, which made Dawn felt uneasy.  
  
"What are you gonna do? Security?" she asked.  
  
"Ha-ha! Security," laughed Xander. "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer slash security guard."  
  
Buffy glanced at Xander. "What' wrong of being a security guard? Besides, I'm the new school counsellor!" she paused, "Well, sort of."  
  
"What?" Dawn asked. "You mean, you get to listen to all our problems and send us to detention?"  
  
"I don't know about the latter, I think that's more of the principal's turf." Buffy knew that Dawn wouldn't be so thrilled having her at the school, but she assured her that her presence at school wouldn't make a big difference.  
  
"So, how was the principal," asked Xander curiously and at the same time delivering his usual sidenotes, "besides having a name that sounds like a man wearing green tights with a bow and arrow on his hands?"  
  
"Like Synder, only creepier," said Buffy.  
  
  
***

"Buffy..." he heard himself saying.   
  
Spike knew he looked a bit of a wackout when he came face to face with her today. That was because of a troubled soul and a haunting vision he was having ever since he came back to Sunnydale.   
  
"How can I even begin to tell her about it? She will only laugh at me and say it was so lame. 'You're beneath me' ", he mimicked her. "Look at me like I am nothing!" he shouted at the blank wall. He was not ready to face her again. Not just yet. He needed to regroup.  
  
  
***  
  
"The talisman..." Buffy told Xander, "was probably probably used by some new baddie seeking vengeance. It could be anybody."

It reminded her of the one who informed her about it.  
  
How he came to be there, she was unable to comprehend. All she knew was he was there, in the flesh, or what was left of it. His sinister laughter, his restlessness, and his mysterious scars in his chest only proved one thing --- something terrible happened to him. Something that would make him cut himself that way he did.   
  
  
***  
  
  
Then came silence.  
  
Spike found himself alone again in his new sanctuary, the basement of the new Sunnydale high school. It was dark, and dank with no natural light to speak of. The one who spoke to him through the walls tentatively became silent for a few seconds. His mind immediately became filled of only one thing --- Buffy.  
  
She had grown her hair, his eyes shining at the thought. He lightly touched his own hair, feeling the familiar curls. It had been months since he took care of them, not that it mattered. A half-grin appeared in his face. He felt a slow, yet steady rush of power coming from within.  
  
Him seeing her tonight made him realized one thing. Buffy was his strength. She was like a beacon in the darkness. She was his power.  


***  
  
Buffy reached out to uncover the scar that he was hiding. "What did you do?" she asked him, her eyes sought his.  
  
There was a faint twang in his voice. "I tried to cut it out," he hesitated, then nervously turned away from her, covering himself up.   
  
Cut what out? Buffy asked herself. Spike talked about some thing in the walls and about "the only three of them" present in his basement. His words and the way he looked was deeply unsettling.

She told him she would get back to him, but was unable to do so because of an encounter with demons. However, she promised herself that she will visit him.  
  
Soon.  


  


  
  
"It's not about right. It's not about wrong.  
It's about power."

  
  
***  
  
Also by The Resident Vampyr™ Vampire Seasons™ - a compilation of season 6 BtVS post-episode fanfictions & The Vampyr Pentateuch & Other Stories™. Visit http://www.vampyrslayer.cjb.net for more.


	2. BENEATH ME

Title: **BENEATH ME**  
Synopsis: What happened after Spike revealed his secret to Buffy. A post-"Beneath You" episode fanfic.  
Rating: PG  
Date Written: Tuesday, 01 October, 2002  
Author: The Resident Vampyr © 2001-2002.  
Credits: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the property of Joss Whedon and the powers that be.  
Note: Partial script from "Beneath You"  
Characters: Buffy Spike  
  
  


***  


The sound of a brittle wood against a concrete floor echoed as Buffy dropped the stake she was holding from her hand. 

It was now making sense. The sinister laughter. The mindless insanity. The mysterious conversations.

In the darkness, she could only hear lurching sobs from the vampire not far away. The smell of flesh burning lingered in the musky air. There was nothing she could do. She felt paralyzed upon hearing the once secret that Spike held.   
  
  
*  
  
"Why? Why would you do..." she asked him. The answers, she could not begin to comprehend.   
  
"Buffy, shame on you. Why would a man do what he musn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would never...to be a kind of man." Spike walked towards the cross in the middle of the masoleum.   
  
*  
  
  
She looked at the figure in front of him ---shaken, defenseless, and vulnerable; qualities, she never knew he possessed, until now.  
  
"Spike.." said Buffy as she slowly approached him.  
  
He did not answer. Instead, he continued to wrap himself on the cross.  
  
Buffy carefully reached out for his shoulders wanting to keep him away the cross that slowly burning his skin. "Spike," she repeated.  
  
"Don't touch me," Spike said finally and moved his arms away from her.  
  
"Let me help you, please," she begged.  
  
Her pleading fell of deft ears. Spike continued to talk to himself, "teeth, must choose sides..."  
  
"Don't do this, I can help," she said as she tried to release his grip from the cross.  
  
Spike paused momentarily. He could feel his skin burning. He looked sideways and quickly moved away from her, confused. "I don't want your pity." His eyes filled with tears as he spoke.

Visibly hurt by what he said, Buffy unconsciously found herself on the verge of tears. Seeing Spike tonight reminded Buffy of a former love who suffered that same fate as his. Only this time, it was a whole different situation. Spike was not someone she would consider a soul mate. Spike was an enemy. A monster.  
  
However, Buffy couldn't explain the concern she had for him. A part of her wanted to comfort him and tell him that everything will be alright. How could she feel that way? After all that had happened between them?  
  
"I never meant to hurt you," Spike finally spoke.   
  
Buffy didn't say anything. She didn't have to. Deep down, she believed him.  
  
Spike started to sob. He bow his head down and shouted to his side. "I said my speech! Happy now?!"  
  
Buffy darted a confused look in the same direction, hoping to find the one Spike was talking to. But she knew there was no one behind the shadows. It was only Spike and his mind playing tricks on him. She realized how the burden of guilt was driving him insane. Seeing him this way broke Buffy's heart, this has got to stop, she said to herself.  
  
Spike suddenly laughed, then paused. "Blondie bear is home. Small, twisted wires, sparkling inside." He fell on his knees.  
  
Buffy slowly knelt down beside him and tried to soothe him. "Spike, it doesn't have to be this way," she whispered.  
  
"I'm done. Over. The Pain, piercing..."  
  
"Sh--," said Buffy as she touched his bleached blonde hair.   
  
"H-help. Help... me..."

Without hesitation, Buffy moved closer and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm here..."  


*

And she shall look on him with forgiveness and everybody will forgive and love. And he would be loved. So everything's okay, right.   
Can we rest now? Buffy...can we rest?

*  
  
  
***  
  
Also by The Resident Vampyr™ Vampire Seasons™ - a compilation of season 6 BtVS post-episode fanfictions & The Vampyr Pentateuch & Other Stories™. Visit http://www.vampyrslayer.cjb.net for more.


	3. SELFLESS

Title: **SELF-LESS  
** Synopsis: Spike decides to look for a new place to stay. A post-"Selfless" episode fanfic.  
Rating: G  
Date Written: Sunday, 3 November, 2002  
Author: The Resident Vampyr © 2001-2002.  
Credits: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the property of Joss Whedon and the powers that be. Partial script from "Selfless".  
Music/Lyrics: The Promise by Tracy Chapman  
Characters: Buffy Xander Anya Spike  
  
  


***  
_If you dream of me like I dream of you...  
In a place that's warm and dark...  
In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart..._  
  
Spike smiled inwardly at the thought of someday, Buffy will see him for what he was today and not for what he was before--- a vampire without remorse or compassion. He doesn't want Buffy to pity him, that he was sure of. Instead, he wanted her to give him a chance to prove himself as much as he wanted to prove to himself that he, in fact, deserve to have a soul.  
  
"We will get through this... you and me," Buffy tenderly said.  
  
That how it should be for them. Patience. Understanding. Love.   
  
Spike tilted his head sidewards, _there is a full moon_, he said to himself. It had been months since he went out of his sanctuary at the new high school basement. He had been in isolation for more than he had hope for. _If only those voices in his head would stop, then it would be better_, he said. Once in a while, Spike found himself alone in the basement if he could stay still long enough, or if he filled his thoughts of Buffy. The latter of course, brought joy and peace in his heart. But more often than not, it was like earshot, pounding his head with cries of torture and death.  
  
Spike walked consciously in the dark streets of Sunnydale. His head bowed and his eyes rarely leaving the sidewalk. To where he was headed, he was not sure. All he knew was that he had to find a new place to stay.   
  
His stay at the high school basement was not appreciated by the slayer. She, in fact, asked him to stay.  
  
"You have to get out of the basement Spike" said Buffy. "You're in danger here."  
  
He looked at her. It was the different Buffy, the _not-so pleasant_ Buffy. Spike merely looked away and dugged himself deeper in the dark corner.   
  
"I don't have anywhere to go," he said nervous at the thought of him leaving this place.  
  
His old crypt was now inhabited by his old friend Clem. Lucky for him if he can still convinced Clem to get back his crypt. He probably have nested there too, got himself comfortable with his old telly. Spike smiled half-wickedly, a hint of his old self surfacing.  
  
He was half past the town near a campus when he bumped into something, or somebody.  
  
  
***

"You..." she said, surprised to see him out and about.   
  
Spike noticed that she was emotionally vulnerable based from the tears in her eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked.   
  
Anya wiped the tears in her face. "N-nothing."  
  
There was_ something less _about her, Spike thought, _something missing_.  
  
"What's up with you?" she asked in return. Anya may no longer a demon and grant wishes (to women that is), but she still haven't loss her desire to talk (even if nobody wanted to talk to her). "How's having a soul making you?"  
  
"Crazy..."  
  
Anya reflected for a moment. Her giving up the whole evil thingy was a big step for her. A sacrifice she was willing to do. But for what? To make things better? For herself, for her friends, for Xander? She was still confused whether she did the right thing or not. Will her choices mattered even in the face of the greatest evil to come to Hellmouth?  
  


"I guess having a soul and a conscience is a ball", she chuckled nervously.   
  
Spike studied her; Anya the tactless girlfriend of Xander, the money lover, the I-say-the-darndest-thing Anya, Anya the vengeance demon. Only...  
  
Spike realized. She was less than a demon. She no longer was.  
  
"Was it worth it?"   
  
They said in unison.  
  
  


***

_I've longed for you and I have desired...   
To see your face your smile...  
To be with you wherever you are..._  
  
  
Spike reached a familiar place on his way to a his crypt. It was one of those houses that happened to be in a way to other parts of the town. He slowly walked towards the stalker tree, that was he called it. Cigarette butts, it was here they piled up. He used to finished packs and packs a day, of course now, he no longer smoked.   
  
_Remembering...   
Your touch...  
Your kiss...  
Your warm embrace...  
I'll find my way back to you...  
If you'll be waiting..._  
  
  
Spike looked to see if the slayer was still up. He wished to talked to her and tell her... something, anything. Perhaps convince her that he was not crazy and everything was just in his head, when in fact he was. How can he convinced her, when he himself was not sure? Perhaps he wanted to feel the comfort that only her could provide. Perhaps...  
  
"Spike," she was speaking right behind him.  
  
He instinctively turned around to face her, "B-Buffy...". He nervously wrapped his hands around his arms and retreated back. He noticed that Xander was not far behind.  
  
"W-What are you doing here?" she asked almost whispering, checking to see her friend nearby.  
  
"I-I," he stopped.  
  
"Spike, what are you doing here?" Xander asked the vampire, his indignation towards him was no less than before.  
  
Spike remained looking at Buffy, "I, was looking..."  
  
"Looking?" Xander interrupted. "Looking for somebody to go mental with?" he said, "I warn you man, don't!"  
  
"Xander, please..." said Buffy calmly. With this, Xander reluctantly retreated back to his car.  
  
"I," Spike started to continue what he was saying, "...how are you?" he said instead.  
  
Buffy didn't answer. She merely looked at the vampire in front of her. Everytime she was faced with him, all she could ever think about was... why? As much as she wanted to deny the existance of his soul, she cannot. She knew he had it, but she had a hard time dealing with it. She no longer knows him, maybe she never knew him at all. All that Buffy understood was Spike had changed. Physicall, mentally, emotionally.   
  
He had a soul, she kept telling herself. But somehow, it was just so complicated. Too complicated.  
  
Her silence meant everything to Spike. He knew him being here, standing in front of Buffy was not a good idea. It was not the time nor the place for them, yet. He finally decided to leave.  
  
"I'm going to my crypt," he said.

Buffy realized this was about him leaving the basement. She shook her head and sighed. She hurt him. It was a misunderstanding, all Buffy wanted was for him to be safe. Staying at the hellmouth was a disaster waiting to happen and she couldn't take the risk of Spike being there. It was unthinkable. Bottom line was, she could've told him in a nicer way. She shouldn't have told him to leave as if it meant nothing. It was... insensitive.   
  
"Spike," she wanted to explain herself.  
  
He stopped her from saying more. "Buffy, I wanted to say, I'm sorry for what I did to you." His eyes started to well-up. All the evil things he did was was killing him. Every waking day and night, it was a torturng him.   
  
His soul._  
_

_I guess having a soul and a conscience is a ball...__Was it worth it?_  
  
Buffy felt his pain. It pained her too. She kept denying him. She kept forgiving him. But seeing him suffered, reminded her of somebody who suffered the same way. She started to reach out for him and tell him that everything will be alright.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Spike repeated himself. With that, he slowly turned away and started to walk away.  
  
  
_Please say you'll be waiting...  
Together again...  
It would feel so good to be...  
In your arms...  
Where all my journeys end...  
  
I vow to come for you...  
If you wait for me and say you'll hold...  
A place for me in your heart...  
A place for me in your heart...  
A place for me in your heart. _  
  


  
  
***  
  
Also by The Resident Vampyr™ Vampire Seasons™ - a compilation of season 6 BtVS post-episode fanfictions & The Vampyr Pentateuch & Other Stories™. Visit http://www.vampyrslayer.cjb.net for more.


End file.
